Screw Cuffing Season: It’s More Empowering To Be Single In Winter

0

The end of Hot Girl Summer is nigh. Heating costs £300 an hour. Having someone special to cuddle up to suddenly seems very appealing – and economical. Welcome to cuffing season.

Winter has come, and everyone’s coupling up. Perhaps they’re settling for someone way below their standards? But it doesn’t matter, it’s cold! Please don’t panic! We spent all this money on weighted blankets for a reason. And we’re about to get our money’s worth.

Screw cuffing season and behold: the greatest, most empowering, most bloody fantastic things about heading into the festive season solo…

Money
Any money you would have spent on a pimped-up Lynx Africa gift box can now be spent to buy yourself one of those gorgeous stinky bath bombs that scream “SELF CARE”. Also, no more settling on a tin of Quality Street for the extended family. Worst/best gift ever.

Christmas Market First Dates
Picture this; first date – in a warm pub. It’s crowded, you’re cuddled together, you’re wearing a beanie. Your knees are knocking together. You’re drinking mulled wine and laughing about the naff Christmas ornaments you’re going to spend £25 on for your nan at the Christmas market. You look up. Mistletoe…. Okay, that would be too perfect, BUT you have the opportunity. The world is your oyster. At least for three more dates.

Mates
Take advantage of all the time you have back that is not spent at your significant other’s boring Christmas parties. No having to wade through idle conversation with their work mates about ‘how busy they are, but it’s good to be busy, haha’ is the best gift you can ever receive. Use this time to reach out to a friend, tell them you appreciate them. It is Christmas after all.

Holiday romance is on the cards
You might be able to swap houses with someone in LA. Don’t ask me how that would work but I saw it in a movie and it worked out well for everyone involved.

Food
You can literally eat everything in sight. From personal experience, most people at your Christmas celebrations probably saw you on all fours being a Stegosaurus and eating grass aged 6. Perhaps at 14. Whatever, who cares – it’s your life. Your lazy aunty has brought a box of roses. Polish that bad boy off.

Family
No decisions about who to spend the Big Day with. Get drunk with your grandparents for God’s sake. Ask them about their biggest achievements, their favourite books, their memories of when you were young (except from the eating grass one). If you’re lucky enough to still have them, enjoy them. Otherwise – we all have a problematic Aunt to gossip with. Get it.

YOU
Take a step back and appreciate everything you’ve achieved this year. No really, you’re not a narcissist (even though TikTok says so). Reflect on the time you felt best this year – and the times you were feeling low. You did it. Look at you bloody go.

Maddy Carty is the host of comedy podcast Mads World. Born out of a Premier League footballer catfishing experience, Mads World explores dating, relationships, feminism, sex & life in London. 

FOLLOW US ON GOOGLE NEWS

 

Read original article here

Denial of responsibility! Pedfire is an automatic aggregator of the all world’s media. In each content, the hyperlink to the primary source is specified. All trademarks belong to their rightful owners, all materials to their authors. If you are the owner of the content and do not want us to publish your materials, please contact us by email – [email protected]. The content will be deleted within 24 hours.

Leave a comment