I started dating again. Then my ex-wife’s interrogation began.

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Dear Prudence,

My ex and I were married for a decade and divorced last year. We have an 8-year-old son together. “Gia” was the one who got away. We were friends but never quite in the right state to try for a relationship.

She was with someone or I was or our careers just took us in different directions. Gia recently moved back to the city and we met up for drinks. Sparks flew. We are seeing each other, but I have no intent to introduce her to my son for a while. My ex and I still have friends in common and I guess someone blabbed. My ex called me up in a fury to interrogate me about my love life. Basically, she hated even the idea of Gia and acted like she caught me cheating (which is hysterical because she had been carrying on an emotional affair with her married co-worker for the last two years of our marriage). I told her that whoever I was seeing or not seeing was none of her business anymore. I would stick to our agreed-upon parenting plan where we wouldn’t introduce any new partners to our son unless the relationship was serious.

Since then, our relationship has been a series of texts limited to our son, and worse, my son has been making comments to me about how he doesn’t want a “new” mommy. I reassured my son that his mom and I were not going anywhere and we loved him. Right now, I am fuming and I don’t know how to go forward. Gia and I have only been seeing each other for a few months. Maybe it will lead somewhere. Maybe it won’t. But I have the right to try. I didn’t approach the co-worker or his wife (despite having ample evidence) and tried to take the high road with my ex. And here she is poisoning the well with my son! I don’t know what move to make next. Help!

—Poisoned Well

Dear Poisoned Well,

This isn’t extremely comforting right now, but it might help a little to remember that your ex is going to pitch a fit—and have inappropriate, upsetting conversations with your son—about anyone you date, not just Gia. So you may as well keep seeing the person you’re really into. Continue to take the high road, even when it feels like it’s not paying off. Your reward, even if it’s not a peaceful co-parenting relationship, will be the feeling that you’re being, the kind of person you want to be and have nothing to apologize for or be embarrassed about.

I do think you should take it very, very slow when it comes to introducing Gia (or anyone else) though. Even when it does become serious, why not just let your son meet her at some kind of gathering, as one of several adults who are your “friends,” so that his anxiety about his family changing yet again isn’t triggered before it has to be? My hope is that you can drag things out long enough that your ex eventually meets someone else and stops caring as much about what you’re up to.

Classic Prudie

My partner and I moved into a new house three months ago. We have an older couple as neighbors, and one of them, a man of 70, tends to give us instructions. He has told my partner not to grow bamboo along our shared fence because it may block his light. He addressed my partner as “boy” and told him to put bricks along the underside of the gate so our (too big for small gaps and not adventurous) dog would not escape. But this is too far.